To much information?

Monday 13th June 2011
For those readers of a squeamish disposition I suggest that you may like to move on to the next posting. Do not pass go. Do not collect £200.

Yesterday the trip to Westray was really enjoyable but today I am paying for it.
For the first time in my life I have got piles or to be more polite, heamorriods. Normally I would keep this information to myself but I am letting you know as a warning to those of you who are married to somebody who throws nothing away.

We had no pile cream in the house (well why would we?) so Pam said that I should use drapoline. This in itself is probably a leftover from when Maddy was a baby but worse is to come.

Pam said that she had left the ointment out in the bathroom. Well, we are dead posh and we have two bathrooms. (Are you ahead of me?) I applied the cream as required and then Pam's voice came from the bedroom asking when I was going to come for the cream.
I will omit the details of the conversation that followed but the gist of it was that the ointment that I should have used was in the en-suite. I then checked the ointment that I had actually used with Pam.

At this point you have to ask yourself why anybody who has not had horses for years would still have a tub of ointment for treating cracks in horses hooves, and furthermore, why would they keep it in the bathroom.
I have now discarded the offending ointment but on the plus side , there are no cracks in the heamorroids which have now dissapeared you will be pleased to know.

On Wednesday,Duncan came round to fetch some shelves for the book case and when he opened the door to come in, Molly shot out. At a guess she was probably looking for Duncan's dog Jock but he was not there so Molly just legged it off.
As usual when she is enjoying herself, she went deaf and didn't hear me calling her back. In the end she did come back when all the cows in the field surrounded her. They have calves and probably were not happy.
I just sat on the grass outside the field and Molly came through to sit by my side for protecdtion. Obviously fear is a better way to teach obedience than all these new fangled kindness methods.

Thursday was another of those "No Killer Whale" days. A pod was seen off Burray Ness at 5:15PM and they were reported as heading off north.
I didn't hear about them until 6:15PM and we immediately jumped into the car and tried to guess how far north they would have gone in an hour. We settled for Deerness being the best bet and so we shot off there as quickly as possible. Needless to say there was no sign of them when we got there.

Next morning we found out that the whales had turned back on themselves and were in the bay off No 4 barrier from 6:15 for about 20 minutes. If I had looked down from our house with the binoculars before setting off for Deerness then I would have seen them.
I think that we are doomed in the killer whale spotting stakes.